Tuesday, 3 January 2012

Much Ado About Fuel. What are Your Options?

Hey guys, what's new since the last time I posted? Same here, nothing much, just new years celebrations and all that stuff and.......oh wait, the price of the life-blood of every Nigerian just increased by 110%. For those of you reading from beyond the shores of Nigeria or those who have been living under a rock (of stupidity, that is), our loving President, yes the husband to the one who sets off more bombs than Boko Haram and MEND combined, has decided to show his gratitude to Nigerians by giving us an unforgetable new years day present. You see, while we were in church on new years eve, singing "Everything na DOUBLE DOUBLE...", little did we know that the powers that be had already set in motion, their plans to ensure our wishes are granted. However, instead of double blessings, we got (what a specie of Nigerian called "Razzomola Igbotica") would call "Double wahala for deadi bodii". This cannotes that we were already "dead" in the first place. The situation now is much worse. As expected, everybody has an opinion on this issue and I grow weary of the fuel subsidy jokes and display pictures on my blackberry. We seem to be ignoring that we are withnessing the tell-tale signs of a crisis, the likes of which Nigeria is unfamiliar with. Being a law student myself, I feel the obligation (however contrived it is), to outline a legal opinion on this issue. The first thing we need to know is that the Federal Government is acting entirely within their power. This power is granted by Section 7 of the PPPRA Act 2004 to.......bla bla bla *snore*snore*waking up*. Be honest, you really don't give a blackberry curve 2 (which is the official phone of Nigeria) about what any law says. What everyone cares about is REVOLUTION!!! Abi??!!! Jonathan must go!!!!! Are you with the movement??? .............. no. People seem to be letting the darkness (we can't afford fuel for generators anymore) cloud their reasoning. A wise man once said, that you are an idiot if you feel that the solution to Nigeria's problem is revolution, and you should be slapped. That wise man is me, and I also propose that no situation GEJ might cause can be worse than a situation where we lose our first-generation rights as we would in a miltary regime i.e rights to life, association, movement e.t.c. What would then distinguish us from beasts?......*scratch that* What would then distinguish us from Plants?. For the ignorant majority out there, a revolution involves a total takeover of an existing legal order in a way not prescribed by that order. In laymans terms "Dem go kill Joe and all him people, dem go com talk 'fellow nigerian' for NTA" Revolution by who? T In Nigeria, only the military have such power and a throw-back to military regime is the worst thing that could happen. So now you're asking....Uncle Manny, we see the stupidity of our ways, tell us what to do, oh wise and lawyer-y one!!! Gladly!!! You need to recognize that the long term effects of removal tend to be beneficial. This in no way excuses the manner in which it was done, but they have an argument so we should articulate ours. Some people can't see beyond their noses (like my brother Steven who has a MASSIVE nose that even I can't see past) and they don't even want to know anything other than that they don't want GEJ anymore. Remember that OBJ we are hailing now tried to remove this subsidy twice and the reasons were the same. The FG feels that it is ruining the economy and they can no longer administer it properly. Whether na true or na lie? Na dem sabi.... What I know is that we should respect the decision whether we approve or not and stop all this foolery about riots. What do you expect ,that Jonathan will be so touched by our burnt tyres on the streets and our "JOE MUST GO" banners that he will re-instate the subsidy, step down, give his money to the rich, feed his wife to the poor and hug the central Nigerian transformer? Last time we played FIFA12 together, Jonathan made it obvious that that wasn't happening soon (and then Patience complimented him on the greatness of his 'manhood'"*sorry, couldn't resist*). , So rather than appealing for Jonathan to go, why don't we appeal for affirmative action instead. Legislations that will put price caps on certain goods and services won't be a bad idea right now. Also, protesting against the horror power supply we are gettingmight be better because we are in this fix mainly because of our generators. Let me borrow a line from a famous Nigerian jurist, Elegido . He said that a Government can get so bad that the people have a moral duty to revolt. Nigeria isn't there yet so let's not rush ourselves lest we compound the problems of a country desperately seeking a solution. In conclusion, Nigeria has become a country divided into a 4 classes : 1. Those who enjoy in silence. These are the people responsible for the oil subsidy removal in the first place. E.g GEJ and Dame "The Widows" Jonathan. 2. Those who suffer in silence. These people can't be bothered. They are the smartest because they know that there is nothing they can do to change this situation and so they concentrate on more practical issues, like how to put food on the table E.g your Dad and Mum 3.Those who suffer noisily. This is the majority. Anybody who doesn't have money for school fees probably belong to this class. These are the pro-revolution class. E.g the agberos, and currently unemployed men who read the front pages of newspapers at the vendors (without buying them). 4. Those who enjoy noisily. These are the blackberry activists. Their mouth is sharp on BBM and Twitter but the lack the balls to take action. If you are reading this, you probably fall within this category........smh 4u......rotflwlmdttylbrb. (The fact that you understood what I just wrote confirms this). The leader of this crew appears to be Banky W who managed to look even more ridiculos than usual in his face cap and shades, supposedly "protesting" and not publicity whoring.

1 comment:

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