Thursday, 5 January 2012

The Top 5 Hoochie-Mamas in Nigerian Music Today!

This is my list of my favourite females, who through the exciting blend of their tackiness, overt-sexuality, lack of talent and just plain razzness, have warmed their way into the hearts (and loins) of Nigerian men everywhere.

5.Ashley Stephanie: This multi-lingual babe used to be the lead singer of some European girl-group thing and she announced herself on the Nigerian scene with her single "tonight (homo hele)". She has a drag-queen chic to her which I find disturbingly attractive. The name is totally bonkers though.
4.Maheeda:This babe is pretty, but her video left me with RNS (Recurring Nightmare Syndrome). She sang that song "Don't try to take my music away from me" and I wondered, why would anyone want to take this noise away from this babe. I guess in some circles, prancing around oiled men and screaming like a bush baby is considered music Her story is however very touching and inspiring but again with the names!
3. Ego Omalicha: Let's just say, the first time I saw this babe, I knew her name had to be something like "omalicha" and lo and behold........ Her Igbotic moves in that video with the bearded muscular dude left us wanting more and no man can deny that he wanted to run his hand through that Darling Yaki gel-pack *E! sexiest voice* . I have a thing for Igbo girls so I like her a bit. She's quite pretty under everything too. These names again!
2.Cossy: I have a theory about Cossy. I think she's really just a sweet, prudent, christian girl..........but she has conjoined twin myslexia (CTM). This is a condition where a persons twin is attached to the persons body, in this case her twin is her breasts! Her breasts have a mind of their own and they make her do bad.....bad things, like posing seductively with a dog and shooting a music video. I have no love for this girl and I feel that her music video (you honestly can't expect me to remember the name of the song) was the tackiest piece of ass I have ever watched. It took something special for her not to be number one on this list.
1.Dencia:I said it would take something special to top Cossy, and that "something special" is the phenomenon called Dencia. First let me say, that there is a likelihood of bias as I have a sick crush on this girl. However, the truth must be spoken. Dencia is the queen of all Hoochie-Mamas. This "beri beri" crooner, after inviting us to "spank" her in her video went on to give us the most uncomfortable 3 minutes of video footage ever. At every point, her breasts were threatening to jump out of her clothes and join the fun and her leopard skin body-suits were....well.....very Dencia. Rumours circulated that someone kicked her ass and that she's a call girl and stuff like that but you people should leave my Dencia alone oh! This is the girl I want to marry, if my Mum doesn't have a stroke.


  1. Hi I Am Rustam Sayal I Like This Comment Very Good

    Nigerian Music

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